I have been a wee bit busy over the last couple of weeks. Well, actually the last month. I have started two new jobs. Exciting times in Manhappenin Kansas. In the midst of starting new jobs I have been dealing with re-entry from East Asia. Now, I don't have any really interesting things to share, but it has been a while since I have posted. So this is all I have right now.

A part of one of my new jobs in support raising. This part has been a blessing and a curse. I have been humbled and made desperately aware of my need for Christ. He is the one that provides even though it is usually through human agents. My community has been encouraging me to trust God. In fact, last week as I prayed about specific needs God provided very practically. I needed gas in my car and food in the pantry. I didn't know how it would happen, but the family of God surprised and overwhelmed, so this week as I pray it is a little easier to trust God. I still don't really like being dependent on God in this way. I would rather have what I need and not have to ask people. To be honest, asking people for money makes me feel like a beggar. I am aware of these thoughts now and I think that is half of the battle I am facing to humble myself before Jesus.

I have been thinking about what it means that God is Sovereign. I have heard this character trait of God thrown around a lot lately. I think I have used God's sovereignty as a cover for my own lack of personal responsiblity. What does it meant to pray over a decision and decide? Is my hope that God helps me make a good decision so that I don't fail at something and if I do I can say it was God's will. Or, do I pray and trust God for mercy and direction. If I don't hear correctly God is still Sovereign and He has promised to work all things out for His glory and our ultimate good. Anyway, these are some thoughts I wanted to give light to. Please let me know your thoughts. I know these are things we will be thinking about until Jesus returns. However, please disagree. We learn by good-natured discussion.

Re-entry

These images have come since I've been back from China. This time of re-entering my home culture is always pretty difficult for me. When I say difficult I mean I am lonely, I lack vision, God seems distant, and I can't find the words to really connect with what is going on beneath the surface. This time though, I have a new way to process what is going on in my heart. In addition to the outlet art provides, this time God has given me many opportunities to verbally process my time in East Asia and also what is happening inside of me now in response to the opportunity to enter another culture.
Anyway, these things do not make re-entry less difficult for me, but I am able to chart where I am better and I have many companions on the journey. I'm so glad. So a little about the pieces. I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. I was sad and the tears came for no apparent reason. As I was praying and reading Psalm 19 I had a picture of resting on God's chest. In my mind's eye, as I did this, I noticed the storm clouds building around me, but they didn't bother me. I could see them, but was able to rest in God's presence. So the first thing I painted was Grace in the Storm. Immediately after that I painted Dancing. It is in response to a tape I heard on Matthew 6 about a week ago. The message was about trusting God to provide for us the way he provides for the birds. I see this provision as not only physical, but also emotional and spiritual. My heart deeply resonates with the theme of trusting God. I want to, but I often feel like I am waiting for him to fail me.
The other two paintings Grace and Grief have both come about after talks with friends in the states connected me emotionally to things I grieved in East Asia.

Grace in the Storm


Dancing


Grief


Grace

It has been fun to share a brief bit of my journey with my fellow bloggers. Thanks for reading!